December 2009
76 posts
this is not a letter to you.
lovebot:
i am not writing to say i can’t breathe without you. or that my days feel empty and i feel lost and my fingers.. they draw and write and make tea and still feel restless because i’m missing your fingers. my heart doesn’t burn and i don’t cry. i don’t wait for you to call, i don’t wait for you to change your mind, i don’t wait for you to randomly show up again. this hopelessness.. it’s...
“Lena, you are a…
- hoopoe
- tupenny
- inattentive seal
- walking...”
– manager at work
jus saying
gona celebrate the new 2010 year with my best friends - music and a glass of Martini!
Time to confess
1.What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
- gentle yoga (with my self-studying book)
- tried to be assertive when searching for a job
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- well, if "never keep my new year resolution" resolution counts, then yes I did keep it.
- nah, what's the point?
3.Did anyone close to you give birth?
- nope
4.Did anyone close to you die?
- thanks God, nope
5.What countries did you visit?
- uum, none - I'm boring, I know
6.What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
- is dat too silly to say my ex?
7.What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- 29th May, Limp Bizkit concert
- 8th June, he's come back
- 21st July, no scholarship
- 30st July, the last text message
- 26th November, I'm officially a barista at Costa Coffee
8.What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- 4 unconditional offers at University of E.
9. What was your biggest failure?
- no scholarship for studying there
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
- November was terrible, I actually thought it was swine flu and I was going to die
11. What was the best thing you bought?
- can't remember
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
- uuum, hard to tell
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
- mine at times
14. Where did most of your money go?
- tuition fee
- mobile phone
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Limp Bizkit concert
- Pete's coming back and the hope it'd all start again in June
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
- ummm, I guess it's Don't Give Up by The Whitest Boy Alive
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?: in the middle
b) thinner or fatter? FATTER!
c) richer or poorer? richer, yeah
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
- spent more time on studies
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
- thinking of 'ole-good days'
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
- with my family, eating in and watching some good movies, I bet
21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
- no, thanks. though, there was a guy I really thought good of, you know?
22. How many one-night stands?
- zero
23. What was your favorite TV program?
- The O.C. + The Sausage Factory
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
- uuum, my manager at work since I didn't know her last year
25. What was the best book you read?
- The Great Gatsby (turned my life upside down)
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- The Whitest Boy Alive, Kings of Convinience
27. What did you want and get?
- the tickets to Limp Bizkit concert
28. What did you want and not get?
- the full-coverage scholarship
- the airport job
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
30. What did you do on your birthday?
- time in with good meals and a agood friend
31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
- him coming back into my life, please?
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
- working on my business-style
33. What kept you sane?
- God knows
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
- Adam Brody, defo
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
- uuum
36. Who did you miss?
- my ex
37. Who was the best new person you met?
- Fred Durst? : D
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009
- do keep staying positive whatever whanever
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
- Don't start the action - it will turn against you soon,
Noone's gonna follow and you'll stand there like a fool.
(Don't Give Up by The Whitest Boy Alive)
so, when will MY times start?
“Maybe we only exist in each other’s dreams and every morning when we wake up we...”
– Audrey Niffenegger (via suzywire)
Okay, I started smoking again :-(
But I don’t care what they say, I’m in love with you They try to pull me away but they don’t know the truth My heart’s crippled by the vein that I keep on closing You cut me open
i’m from holland - where the fuck you’r from?
tired with the whole gits-headache. with new nails though (yep yep!). leaving for starbucks with alex.
Man: Your English is soo cool - you work in __ to get some cross-cultural working experience?
Me: Well, actually nope. I umm live here.
Man: (interested) You work everyday?
Me: Umm, nope. My shifts change.
Man: (disappointed but clearly wanting to ask when he'll see me next time) Okay..
Me: Okay (smile)
ha ah haha.
Borrrya, show me the waaay!
i’m teed off. i’m like umm sleepy. i’m downloading the music they put as a background at my coffee shop onto my iPo - i’m wasted, right? i’m like uuum ear-sleeved what mum and sis were talking about. i’m still gifts-less myself, fuck fuck fuck! and i really am missing the ole good times.
since recently i hate: birthdays, new years...
wish list
personal wee bowling club in my house, please. with all those shoes for all the sizes and those musical tracks they put on to play in a more energetic way.
shyte
found another photo of him on the internet via his friend’s profile on facebook. my god, i’m a stalker but i never meant to become one. i swear.
steaming.
i’d be packing to your place now, sweekerie if we still were boyfriend and girlfriend. you’d meet me at Glasgow Prestwick Airport and wait for my bag - hopefully British Airways wouldn’t forget it in London again. we’d take the train or call a taxi cab with a curious driver who’d ask questions like, “so what you two plan to do for the new year?” or...
i just want to fall into the sky and flow. flow...
“wow, Lena. what a ‘lively’ relationship you used to have!”
– Ilya, with sarcasm on my long-distance relationship story
nmd
today is not my day, full stop. everything sucks and everything fails out of my clumsy hands. i’m a walking disaster. keep clear my walking area. and be aware - i can harm you. seriously.
currently on my crazy mind:
Brittany Murphy (i can’t help it)
Us by Regina Spektor
gotta find Killing the Mockingbird for stylistics lecture
i miss summer
i’m waking at 9.30 tomorrow, woop...
pressed for time
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!
“As hard as we try to move forward, as tempting as it is to never look back, the...”
– Meredith Grey (via fuckyeahgreysanatomy)
they stole that baby!
i was wondering if i’m the only person who has that i-can’t-fucken-find-at-least-some-not-thaaaaat-horrible-new-year-gift problem. shopping makes me feel depressed, i swear :-/ a bar of soap from the Bodyshop? or maybe some coffee from Wittard? guh, there’s now a chance i’ll re-consider Alex’s point of view on the whole gift-idea.
what i have as a plan for now:
...
life sucks lately, duhh
i had an argument with mum this morning and it was terrible
i have no holiday-banter feeling and am seriously thinking of going to bed on 31st dec
i work on 1st jan
i still have no new year gifts
the guy i really like to have shifts with is going to quit next week
how humble i must have been feeling that i texted some scumbag i used to date back in the old day and...
5 Celebs
No limits. From any time period whatsoever, dead or alive, currently single or married. Reblog with your 5 celebrity choices in each category.
5 Сelebrities you’d marry/date: 1. Adam Brody 2. Prince Harry 3. Ryan Gosling 4. Josh Hartnett 5. Fred Durst
5 Celebrities you want to be best friends with: 1. Sandra Bullock 2. Jim Kerrey 3. Jennifer Aniston 4. Johny K. Lewis 5. Lady GaGa
5 Celebrities...
If one day you notice we haven't talked in a...
(via runawaytrain)
.21
you know what sucks? that i come to realize the whole birthday-business used to be the way greater back at that very time when i was a happy, carefree wee.
you know what sucks? i hardly feel the so-called holiday-banter-emotion (or any emotion, in fact) for the passed few years.
you know what sucks? it’s just the matter of how you percept the whole supposed-birthday-fun thing that you...
